Fun with Headlines: Anelka, Joe Cole, Newcastle United, and More

19 August 2010

Newcastle United's Joey Barton (Credit Image: © Action Images/
It's Wednesday, and while I'm still trying to catch up on the Champions League games, I'll take this opportunity to flip through the headlines that came through my feed reader today. That's right, as the title suggests, I'm going to have some fun with the UK press.

I'll start with the Guardian headline of "Anelka laughs off ban from FFF 'clowns'". Of course he's laughing. He's only retired internationally. I imagine this is the reaction Zidane had when FIFA still gave him a three match ban.

While I had my pick of the litter about this next headline, I went with the Telegraph's "Joe Cole guilty of speeding at more than 100 mph". While it doesn't surprise me that Cole was found guilty, what was his biggest offense this week: being found guilty of speeding, or being sent off in record fashion on debut for Liverpool?

I almost feel guilty about this one, but this "Ireland desperate to resurrect career" headline from the Independent just proves how screwed up Manchester City is at times. The guy deserved better than this. In the end, I think the joke will end up being on Manchester City if Ireland proves them wrong. I have faith that Ireland will do so.

The Daily Mail may take the cake with this gem: "Eggert Magnusson's shock Sheffield Wednesday bid". I don't think Sheffield Wednesday fans want the same egg on their face that West Ham United are still trying to wipe from their collective faces. The only problem is I don't think it will come completely off until they are relegated and come back up in better financial shape than they are in now.

The headline isn't comical in its own right, but one of the details in this Guardian headline is. The detail in the headline "West Ham get Olympic Stadium backing" is that West Ham want to keep the Olympic Stadium at sixty thousand seats. So not only will they play in front of a half empty stadium on a weekly basis, but will have the running track around the pitch as well. I don't think many will be singing "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" in unison.

The Sun claim that "Chivas regret Hernandez deal". How many times have we seen this before, and how many times will we see it before the season is over? Either way, it's still worth a chuckle to know that had Chivas held out better than their result in the Copa Libertadores on Wednesday (hint, Chivas lost 3-2, 5-3 on agg), they could have at least tripled what he was worth.
Here's a word that is not in Newcastle United's vocabulary: patience. Yet, as the Telegraph noted Wednesday, "Kevin Nolan urges Newcastle United fans for Premier League patience". What's funny is it only took 2 days after their opening round defeat to see this pop up. I had Friday before round 2 in the pool.


toddmintz August 19, 2010 at 1:04 AM  

Once again, always first to initiate feedback with our expert. Of course, France Football Federation is a joke. Why would Anelka care? At 31, he likely might even be less effective in 2 years in the event France qualifies for Euro 2012. No certainty, rebuilding France will even qualify. They need to clean house and rebuild with a new generation of talent led by Benzema. France was in similar position after the glory years losing in 1982 and 1986 semi-finals to Germany. In 1990 France lost in Paris to at that time a bad Israel squad, the lowest moment in some time and France did not qualify for the 1990 World Cup. However, by 1998 they finally won the big one.

Re: Newcastle. The people there always overreact to any piece of Newcastle news because the media treats everything as a circus. BBC reported today how Chris Houghton is not concerned about striker Andy Carroll missing chances vs Manchester United commenting he is young (21) and I am sure will do the job. Comment they have played "1 game back in EPL that is it!". Maybe most interesting game of week will be the "early Sunday game" when the Magpies have the home opener vs Villa. This is a hard one to call, I see a draw...

toddmintz August 19, 2010 at 1:22 AM  

Last post: I want comments from our fine readers if anyone saw the Concacaf Champions League game tonight with RSL and lightly regarded Arabe Unido from Panama in Group A. I thought a disappointing boring game. Maybe down the line an article can be printed as to "why these games no one cares"? A small, quiet crowd at Rio Tinto. RSL trailed 1-0 in this on but got the advantage of Panama side going down to 10 men in the 29th minute when Nahil Acarroll was red carded cynical studs up tackle on Kyle Beckerman.

Saborio ralled RSL back with 2 goals including a penalty in the 2nd minute of stoppage time for 2-1 win. Should the penalty have been awarded? RSL very very lucky.

Champions League Playoffs: In first game after Ozil being sold to REAL MADRID< Werder Bremen took command in Leg 1 with 3-1 win over Sampdoria at Werder Bremen. Goals by Fritz, Frings and ex Chelsea (among many and former Peruvian International)Claudio Pizzaro. Maybe we can talk about that game...

Johnathan Starling August 19, 2010 at 8:43 AM  

Todd, this is another friendly reminder to keep comments on topic.

About This Blog

Johnathan Starling, the self proclaimed 'most brutally honest man on the net, dishes out his own unique brand of opinions, and analysis on the Premier League, Bundesliga, and all things US Soccer.

Get In Touch

If you have any questions regarding content on the blog, wanting to write on the blog, or to potentially advertise on the blog, email

Donate to The Third Half

  © Blogger template Leaving by 2008

Back to TOP