The Lunatic Files: Barca’s Promise, Drogba the Volleyball Players, The Fight for Europe Pompey Style

14 April 2010

This edition of the Lunatic Files returns with some more fun at the recent headlines from the English papers, and my first nominee for ‘Headline the entire world already knew about already’. I know that category name needs a little work, but it will come in time. If you have one you’d like to give me, just leave it in the comments below. If I like it, I’ll figure out something out of my own pocket for a prize.

The battle for Cesc Fabregas seems to either have died, if you’re to believe Arsenal, or it’s fixing to intensify in a major way, if you’re to believe Lionel Messi. The situation has always been a precarious one considering Fabregas spent a good portion of his youth days in Barcelona’s youth camp, and it’s pretty clear right now Peter Hill-Wood and Messi haven’t been reading from the same script.

There is a fundamental problem I always have when I read any story that involves teams that have ‘promises’ or ‘assurances’ given to another over any particular player. My problem: it’s nothing but a bunch of lies and it always turns into a giant game of chicken. While at this exact moment in time they promise not to make a move on Cesc, that doesn’t mean in the not so distant future they will and make Arsenal’s summer an even more interesting one. Between the final straw looking to have finally broken in the Arsenal takeover battle, Cesc Fabregas, and fans wanting someone other than who they have as keepers at the moment, it would appear the last thing the board room needs to be taking is any promise from another club at face value.

I have to hand it to Owen Coyle. After Bolton’s 1-0 defeat at Chelsea on Tuesday, he had no problem telling anyone within ear shot (and there were plenty that were) what he thought of not only the officiating, but of what sports Didier Drogba could make a serious go at. Not only did Coyle compliment Drogba as a class football player, he made the claim that Drogba could very well play ‘world class volleyball‘. While the comment may have been in the heat of the moment, having seen the handball in question, Coyle may not be too far off the mark.

While the Chelsea fan in me is relieved that we’re not talking about a Didier Drogba flop, I can’t lie when I say having seen the incident on my DVR numerous times, I agree 100 percent with Coyle that Drogba does have what it takes to be a top volleyball player. Hell, considering John Terry’s handball, it makes me wonder if Chelsea doesn’t already have a volleyball team in and of itself. We could have Didier Drogba as our main bumper and John Terry as a main setter, the only question I have is who is the guy at the net who spikes. Right now I have Essien and Mikel considering their history for thunder strikes. On the other end, other than Cech at the net blocking, I’d have Michael Ballack and Deco there as well.

With the exception of a magical FA Cup Final run, Portsmouth’s season has been nothing but one hell after another. In a season with more plot twists than any network soap opera, an unplanned battle is on it’s way. That battle: having not even bothered to apply for the licenses required to play in Europe next season.

Well, with seventh place at the moment qualifying an English club for the Europa League, David Moyes has some strong words about Portsmouth’s eleventh hour appeal to the English FA about getting those licenses. To sum it up as kindly as one can, he’s not happy about it. Moyes’s argument is a simple one: why should they be allowed to play when they didn’t even try to apply? Roberto Martinez agrees, adding that the mismanagement of clubs should be just cause of that punishment. The Portsmouth administrator disagrees, and is saying that the agreements required that would allow the club to apply will be in place for them to play in Europe next season.

I have to say I agree with Moyes on this one. One fact that completely baffles my mind still is the fact that Portsmouth didn’t even bother to apply for these licenses in the first place. Yes, I agree that by the time the original March 1st deadline passed, it still looked very unlikely they would even make it this far. However, it still shouldn’t have stopped them from even applying in the first place. That way, had they made it this far, an appeal would have had the opportunity to be shown in more of a sympathetic light.

Before I go, this will be a semi-regular end to this blog post. My ‘Headline the World Already Knew About’.
I’ll compile these as the year goes on and, at the end, come up with my top five to vote on at the end of the year. My first one comes from The Telegraph: “Manchester United owners unmoved by Red Knights campaign“. WELL YOU DON’T SAY MARK OGDEN? The frank reality of all this is a simple one; until Old Trafford is less than 50 percent full on a regular basis and less than half those tickets were never sold, the Glaziers are going to be hanging around unless something in the neighborhood of five billion pounds are come up with to sell the club.


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Johnathan Starling, the self proclaimed 'most brutally honest man on the net, dishes out his own unique brand of opinions, and analysis on the Premier League, Bundesliga, and all things US Soccer.

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