Top Five Funniest British Headlines: May 11, 2009

11 May 2009

I'm trying out something a little different today. On the advice of quite a few people to lighten up, a light went off in my mind. Why don't I have a little fun with the British papers? Admit it to yourself, whenever you see some of the headlines coming out of England, it takes every fiber of your being to stop from laughing so hard and coming back with a sarcastic reply of your own.

My goal is for this to go up first thing in the morning. Please over the course of the next few days let me know what you think. If there are ten, I'll use ten, but most of the time their will be five.

So tonight's top five funniest British headlines are:

Number 5 from the Telegraph: "Arsenal's Nicklas Bendtner 'set up' in pants pictures says Arsene Wenger". Oh sure it's so easy to set up a depressed striker who loves pink boots after a match. Free limo to a night club, free flowing booze until you're drank your body weight in the liquor. And for good measures, you feel like making a bigger ass of yourself after Arsenal was humbled by Manchester United in the Champions League.

Number 4 from the Daily Mail: "Arsenal boss Wenger admits he must spend to succeed". This was updated late Sunday night. I'm going to take a stab and say that Wenger, as the last human on earth to see this, has finally realized he needs to mix wisdom and experience with youth and exuberance.

Number 3 comes from the Telegraph: "Tottenham captain Ledley King apologizes following allegations of assault". Maybe King should have learned the lessons of Bendtner earlier in the week and not been out for too long after a paltry draw with Everton. Oh and I'm sorry doesn't cut it either.

Number 2: this one from the Telegraph: "Joey Barton fears Newcastle could sack him and try to seek compensation". You wouldn't know from the headline, but this was suppose to be the Telegraph's preview of the biggest match in Newcastle United's history. Yea, the Telegraph decide to discuss a player who can't even play and make him the headline of their news story. As for Barton himself, shouldn't he be paying teams to let him play for them?

And number 1, this priceless gem from the Daily Mail: "Robinho: I want Golden Boot, Premier League and World Player award". That would mean you would actually have to look like you're trying. Just because your Brazilian no longer gives you any God given footballing right to have everything handed to you on a silver platter.

Looking up, I'm shocked I didn't use a tabloid headline. Maybe I should keep a tally of what paper gets the most headlines used. Again, all feedback on this is welcome.


LS May 11, 2009 at 12:48 PM  

Seems clear the Arshavin signing has gotten Wenger to see the light. It's admirable that he's tried to build from within but you need to supplement that with experienced star players to strongly challenge for trophies.

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Johnathan Starling, the self proclaimed 'most brutally honest man on the net, dishes out his own unique brand of opinions, and analysis on the Premier League, Bundesliga, and all things US Soccer.

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